Tig Clark writes:

I have heard that you have a similar problem as I do. My vaginal unit
has an odd obsession with the television show, "Big Brother". Ive been
replaced at times because of this program. What should I do about it,
and what is your take on "Big Brother"?

Big Brother's going down. But I do understand where your unit is coming from. As explained in the August 24, 2005 rant, we hate it when women bug us during the big game. So this is their sick revenge. My suggestion is to do what I plan on doing... riding out the storm until September 3rd... when the college football season starts. Paybacks are a bitch.

Dilemma. Your girlfriend is a horrible lay. You've tried everything to drop hints that she's horrible. You've stuck it in her pooper. You've hit her in the face in the middle of the act. You've even called and told her parents. Nothing's working. What should you do?

Easy. Leave her. Cause we all know that a girl that can't do it might as well be a dude.