STFU, Jared

I hate Jared Fogel, the Subway Diet Guy. This fat sumbitch stopped eating so much one day, went to Subway's CEO and said, "HEY! Thanks to you, I'm not a fat ass anymore!" Ok, good for you, Fogel. Great job making your way to a TV commercial. But come on, we've been hearing this same old shit for 3 years now. We get it.

Guess what, if you don't eat much, you'll lose weight. It just happened that Subway was closest to Jared's parents house (where he still lives). So Jared thought Subway did it for him. No, what did it for him was the fact that he couldn't get laid, and stopped eating so much.

What makes me sick is the fact that fatasses across the country actually buy in to this shit. Everyone claims that Jared inspired them to stop eating so much. Sure. Now go kill yourself. If it takes a guy that looks like he just came from a Dungeons and Dragons tournament to tell you to stop eating so much, then life isn't that precious after all. Maybe I just don't get it since I'm not a fatass, but I just can't imagine anyone wanting to follow his lead. Subway is expensive if you eat there every day, dumbasses.

Jared, your 15 minutes of fame is over. You're getting on everyone's nerves, and this mindless banter you shit out your mouth everytime you come on TV has to stop. If you agree with me, please sign the "Revoke Jerod Fogel's 15 Minutes of Fame Petition."

Sign the "Revoke Jared Fogel's 15 Minutes of Fame Petition"