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Fireworks for Winners Every year, thousands of people flock to the nearest city funded fireworks display here in Ohio because it's "illegal" to shoot them off yourself. Really? It is? Cause I do it every year. I've even seen cops drive by when I'm doing it. Just yesterday I went and bought my fireworks... in state. When you first walk in, you have to fill out a form saying you'll take these fireworks out of state. They even have a billboard with a list of cities you can write down as your answer. They know you're gonna get drunk on the 4th, light a few off, and probably lose an arm, but they don't care. What makes no sense to me is the fact that they actually sell them here, but you can't use them here. That won't stop me. This year, I'm sponsoring the first ever "GotBuckey.com Fireworks-palooza." I've purchased approximately 500 tons of gunpowder and dynamite, some cardboard, and 34 gallons of gasoline. I don't think the Japanese make good enough fireworks, so I'm making my own. Here's my first successful display...
"Perfect way to tell her you think you should see other people"
My patented "I Hate You" shell-loaded floral display is perfect for those nights you'd rather be drinking with your friends, and can't think of a better way to tell her so. It's recommended that you stand at least a quarter-mile away from the detonation area. It may look pretty in the air, but it usually destroys all life in the immediate area that its lit.
How about if you're in a light hearted mood, and you feel like putting a smile on your girl's face, instead of decimate her world? I've got just the highly explosive firework for you. It's called "The Gary Coleman Experience."
"What you talkin' bout, Buckey?"
Who wouldn't laugh when they see a washed up child star in the air? This took a little bit of time to put together. It was a real challenge recreating his head. I'm tired of fireworks for losers, you know, the fireworks that just go and make a pretty flower design and go boom. That's old. These fireworks kick ass. This is all I would buy if I were you. Cause it's cool.
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