|
| ||||||
| ||||||
|
Lance Armstrong: More Balls Than You
Yesterday Lance Armstrong won the Tour De France for the 7th time. With one ball. Wow. I have two balls and I have trouble riding a bike more than a mile or so. He rode for over 2000 miles. One can only wonder what kind of magical power that one ball has. Not only did he beat the world in a bicycle race that would make a grown man cry, but he's bonking Sheryl Crow too. Sheryl Crow is the most shallow person known to man, but obviously Lance has super-uni-nut if he can make the queen of stuck up scream like a whore being raped by a gorilla.
Figure 1
Notice figure 1. Lance's one ball is bigger than a bowling ball. What's more impressive is he actually rides a bike with this mass between his legs. Yet another reason why he's more of a man than I'll ever be.
I had the chance to have a quick interview with Lance today after his win. Here's how it went:
Buckey: So I bet you're tired.
Lance: Yup.
Buckey: Your nut hurt?
Lance: Now what kind of inconsiderate question is that?!
Buckey: Just wondering. I mean, you rode by me about a couple miles back and I could see that thing pulsating. Looked swollen. Were you sitting on it?
Lance: Sure was. Something that big, you just have to sit on it.
Buckey: Can you sign my scrodum?
Lance: You're a squirrel. With a sack the size of Egypt. No.
Buckey: Do you know who I am?
Lance: Wait, aren't you the owner of GotBuckey.com?
Buckey: That's right bitch.
Lance: Yeah! I totally agree with your "Whores, Who Needs 'Em" article. Whores should be shot in to space.
Buckey: Pimpin. Ok, now get outta here, you're cramping my style. *High fives Lance*
|
||||||
|
|
