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Illiteracy Takes Over The Internet Unlike 99.9874% of people on the internet today, I paid attention in English class in high school and college. I learned all about nouns and adjectives and fun stuff like that. I actually wouldn't be surprised if a few people who are reading this right now don't know what an adjective is. Not surprised at all. But what shocks me is that retards on the internet these days don't know the first damn thing about how to use punctuation. Here's a quick lesson for those less fortunate... ? - This is a question mark, always used after asking a question. For example... "What time do you want me to meet you by the flag pole to kick your ass?" Perfect example of a question mark. Not so hard, right? So why is it that so many dumb bitches online are using that symbol at the end of EVERYTHING THEY SAY? Doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense. This is an example on some little girl's blog... "...still nothings changed in my love life... still single?????????" To which I replied... "Is that a question? If so, the answer is yes." Little girl, owned. Not only did she use a question mark where she shouldn't have, she used way too many of them. Every time I read someone's ignorant little posts that have a question mark where it shouldn't, I write their name down for future kicks in the back of the head. She'll get hers. ! - This is an exclamation mark, used to show excitement, or shouting. This is the most overused punctuation mark known to man. A correct use of this would be, "I'm going to kick the shit out of your dog!" There you can feel the anger, hell maybe even excitement. Here's a good way to receive a kick in the back of the head by me... "I can't believe I started my period today!!!!! So, I was on my way to the bathroom and was like, I'm bleeding!!!!!! Then Buckey came and kicked me in the head!!!!! I'm going to go take a nap now!!!! Like, bye!!!!" That's just asking to get your ass kicked. When I read that I picture a blonde with Abercrombie clothes and a death wish. Here's a little piece of advice... if you ever want to be considered for a job other than a greeter at Wal-Mart, lose the exclamation marks, and re-take grades 4-12. K-3 is too easy. Only people that failed those are people who pour concrete for a living, and career cashiers at Kroger. ... - Three dots between sentence fragments usually show a pause for effect or drama. Also known as an ellipsis. Even more over used than the exclamation mark. Proper use of this would be... "So I was driving in to town the other day and saw Rick Withers... damn that's one fat ass." Or perhaps: "I bought a kitten the other day... and God ate it. Silly God." Seems like it would be pretty hard to screw up the ellipsis; it's so straight forward. Simply use it when you want space and/or drama. But alas, I found some retard that just couldn't manage to piece together more than 3 words without pounding her fist on the period key a few times... "Today........ went to soccer......... came home and got ready....... went to the y and ran 4 miles with my sister........ and worked out.......came home and got ready..........then headed to chillicothe with my sister.......... then went to shiftys.......... WOW funn....... old guys were staring @ my ass..... and i'm like BACK OFF........ seriously WTF......... anyways...... i guess my ass looked goood lol j/k anyways now i'm herre.........." What the hell is that? It's like she couldn't manage to slam one solid thought down on a keyboard. I... can't... read... what... the... hell... she's... saying... when.... it.... looks... like... this. But from the looks of things, whatever she was saying wasn't that important anyway. By the way, learn to spell. ...?! - I know you're probably thinking to yourself, "there's no way someone could possibly use all three of those punctuation marks together unless they're a special needs student." But it's true, some people think it's cool to throw down as much punctuation as possible. These people get the title "asshole." If you were God, would you kill this person? I know I would... " i sware i hate being unable ot help my team @ a scrimmage... i felt worthless the WHOLE weekend... like i was just taking up space.......??!! but i guess i learned what to and what not to do from the side line.... so anyways we left findlay and i rode home with Paige...! Abbie....! and Jason....! wow are those guys FUNNY...?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!??? jason.... It's Me...... Jessica wow that was freaking great...... so anyways" If you can't see what's wrong with that paragraph, you should be drug over hot coals. That's all for now. Thinking about illiterate people is making my blood boil. Next time I'll talk about idiots tHaT ThInK iTs CoOl To TyPe LiKe ThIs!?! |
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