1

The only time we’d ever have to fear the French Army is if Chuck Norris became a French Citizen.

Submitted By: Buckey

4 votes. Rating: 10 out of 10

2

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Chuck Norris in gratitude for one of its biggest stars. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Submitted By: Buckey

3 votes. Rating: 10 out of 10

3

Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."

Submitted By: Kasey H.

3 votes. Rating: 10 out of 10

4

The movie Anaconda was filmed in Chuck Norris’ pants.

Submitted By: Kasey H.

4 votes. Rating: 10 out of 10

5

Chuck once did a karaoke version of "Another Brick in The Wall" by Pink Floyd. That’s when the teachers all left them kids alone.

Submitted By: Kasey H.

3 votes. Rating: 10 out of 10

6

There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Chuck Norris.

Submitted By: Buckey

4 votes. Rating: 9.25 out of 10

7

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won’t be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

Submitted By: Escapee

3 votes. Rating: 9 out of 10

8

"Chuck Norris" is Arabic for "I’m fucked".

Submitted By: Buckey

3 votes. Rating: 9 out of 10

9

Chuck Norris raped Tony Danza and Bruce Springsteen simultaneously one day just to make them aware that Chuck Norris is the fucking boss.

Submitted By: Kasey H.

4 votes. Rating: 8.75 out of 10

10

Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

Submitted By: Buckey

8 votes. Rating: 8.75 out of 10

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